The Dachshund Makes Landfall
Found this old journal in my parent’s basement. I think it belonged to my great-great grandfather, L. Copernicus Scott, who was some sort of sea-faring naturalist or something? Pretty cool. Here’s a passage from March of 1799…
“Woke this morning in a fine mood. My cabin, though cramped, is one of the few that remain dry, a conceit granted me by the captain to ensure the quality of my work. Others are not so fortunate— my shipmate, Mr. Mojo, for instance, reeks constantly of bilge, and when wrung out, exudes a fetid mixture of lime rinds and stale rum. It is a miracle he yet survives.
“Despite such difficulties, our voyage has yielded some very successful results. I have recorded, for instance, over a dozen specimens, which I present to you here.”
Then things get real interesting…
“The specimens in question I collected on a tiny island outside the Argosonian Coast. The greeting we received from the natives was quite encouraging, especially after last month’s ordeal. They threw us a great fete, where I beheld sights of truly awe-inspiring magnificence. Beautiful costumes! Wondrous foods! Exuberant performances featuring singing and dances so joyfully executed that tears were streaming down our faces! I nearly abandoned my charge and made visual records, but thankfully I maintained my composure and focused on my duty—recording, in exhaustive detail, the magnificent geological specimens you see below:”
“As I’m sure you can attest, these were some truly breathtaking finds. I shall be sure to share more when time warrants, but for now I must return to the fete. The captain wishes the ship’s ensemble to regale the chief with a rendition of The Dachshund’s fight song: "Hail, hail—Our Biscuits Remain Relatively Weevil Free". Mojo and I have been practicing our spirit fingers!”
Anyways, I thought that was neat. The book goes on for a while so maybe I’ll share a few more passages down the road. Or maybe not. He spends a lot of it complaining about his gums hurting and a bunch of sores on his arm, and then like the last thirty pages are all just these weird rusty-brown stains, so… It’s like, boring.
